Tuesday tube: This worked out pretty well

Since National Signing Day is just a few days away (thank God) — and we're, you know, coming off a national championship and all — it seems like a good time to revisit the recruiting class of 2009 (along with two extraordinarily goofy local announcers), which seems to have worked out pretty well.

If some of those names seem strangely familiar, click here.  Or watch this.

So maybe this is something worth paying attention to, for better or worse.
(We'll talk when it's over.)

Monday links for one Super week

Let's begin with the defending champs.

The girls from Tuscaloosa continued their winning streak vs. Auburn on Friday, with a narrow victory in front of a record crowd at the Auburn Arena. Really the winner isn't as important as the number of points scored — in the latest rankings (updated last week), our girls were actually rated 7th based on average points scored.
— I don't like harping too much on recruiting, if only because the coverage of it is part of what makes people who follow college football so crazy. But, just for fun, take a look at the latest ESPN 150 list, and count the number of Tide commitments. It's enough to be excited, if only for a moment.
(Note: Please read BSR today for an update on the saga surrounding Landon Collins. Apparently we all need to not only follow the whims of selfish, me-first teenagers, but also their selfish, me-first parents. Great.)
— And, of course, there's the basketball squad, which stared down disaster on Saturday vs. Arkansas and staved it off with a win at Coleman Coliseum. While the win itself is nothing to go crazy over, it was important to get back on the right side, particularly headed into the week off. The next 3 games — Saturday vs. Ole Miss, followed by road trips to Auburn and LSU — are all games that should be won, before a home date vs. Florida on Valentine's Day. Saturday's win was also notable for the success of the rotation, and the play of Andrew Steele. Maybe we don't have to start packing for the NIT just yet.
(Then again, if we get dismantled at LSU or Auburn next week ... ya know? Let's just enjoy this for now.)
— And, of course, it wouldn't be an offseason without a "Free UAB" story. They should be at the trustees' meeting this week.

this newspaper column didn't make the paper

Because of spatial limitations, my weekly column for the St. Clair Times didn't actually make the paper. And that's probably for the best, because the crux of it is me comparing politicians to waitresses at Hooters. Anyway, you can respond here, or by finding me on Twitter. Thanks.

Politicians: They're not really your friend, you know

Here’s the best way I know to describe politics in this country.

We’ve all — or, I should say, most of us — been to one of those restaurants where the quality of the food was secondary to, um, the ambience. I’m probably not bound by any rules that keep me from actually calling these establishments by name, but just to be safe, let’s be intentionally vague.

In any case, most likely you know what I mean. The servers are almost uniformly young women, almost uniformly what our society might call “attractive,” and all dressed in a way that accentuates their, um, attributes. Which is the whole point of having the restaurant in the first place.

(Note: This is somewhat uncomfortable. And it’s about to get worse.)

In addition to their dress code, many of these girls apparently are coached — I say “apparently” because I have no idea what actually goes on in management meetings — to, for lack of a better term, flirt with their customers. The theory, of course, being that their customers (mostly middle-aged men) are likely to stay longer and tip more if they feel they’re receiving special attention from a young lady. So they use terms of endearment (“honey” and such as that) and attempt to strike up awkward conversations (“You’re an Alabama fan? No way, me too!”).

All of this is in place, of course, to mask the fact that the food is mediocre on its best days, the drinks are lukewarm and the seats are uncomfortable. Way too many guys (metaphorically) eat this up, unfortunately.

Here’s why I’m bringing this up: If you aren’t aware these things are taking place, and if you’re starved for attention, you could very easily delude yourself into thinking these ladies have a genuine interest in you as a person. They do not. They have a genuine interest in you as a customer with money to spend, and nothing more. The relationship begins and ends with the check.

I think about this sometimes as it relates to politics. Thankfully, most of our politicians don’t wear the scanty attire. But they are masters of the other part: pretend to empathize with regular people’s problems, reassure them that you can solve their woes … make them think you care about them beyond just the election.

It’s a game as old as democracy itself. But it’s just that: a sham. A politician’s empathy for his constituents goes as far as the next election. They’re not going home with you to meet the family; even if they do, they’re only staying long enough to take a photo and move on.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of the restaurant experience. At least with the restaurant I get some cold cheese fries.

hardwood thoughts: where are we now

A running feature that was well received definitely existed during last basketball season was a series in which we would visit with my brother Whit, a sometimes aspiring basketball coach who now leads a youth group in Panama City. He and I share opinions about Alabama basketball, and many of them are actually acceptable to share with other people. Here we check in with Whit in the midst of a three-game losing streak, as some question whether coach Grant is getting through to his team (though our RPI remains strong). As always, feel free to find us on Twitter or leave your comments here.

AP Photo

me: Is it me, or are we basically the same team we were at this time last year? We seem slightly better shooting the basketball, but not by a lot ... and if anything, the kids who are better shooters are more prone to defensive lapses (which drives coach Grant insane).

Whit: I think we ARE a better team this year than we were at this time last year. The main reason I feel this way is because I think Coach Grant is about to "find our identity as a team." I think that he's doing a great job using the entire bench to play disciplined defense, and hustle from tip to final horn. I also like the fact that he'll yank people who aren't doing their job out of the game and put somebody else in who will. I think that our shooting as a whole has been poor for quite some time. The guys seem like they shoot the ball well, like most people, when they have a chance to set their feet. I realize that's not rocket science, and everybody knows that but we just don't seem to be getting our feet set at all when we shoot the ball...especially not from 3. And much like 20-year-old kids, they get upset when they miss shots and don't play defense.

me: And then there's Tony Mitchell, who is the most athletic and has the lowest basketball IQ of anybody on the squad. And he may actually be regressing as a player.

Whit: Ah...Mr. Mitchell...where do we start? You are the most athletic and most exciting player that Alabama has right now. You are actually a pretty good shooter, too. However, you are by far the laziest defender we have. You're moody, You make poor decisions, and then You walk down the court as the rest of your teammates bust their rumps to play defense!
** The best thing that Tony can do as a player right now is to lose some of his emotion. Most of his problems are mental because he seems to think that he's the only scoring option on the court when he plays. If he doesn't get such a big head and try to do things that are ridiculous (i.e. standing still next to the ball handler for 5 seconds calling for the ball, then get the ball, and then take a contested three pointer with two seconds left on the shot clock) he can play well and function as part of what should be a fun team to watch.
** To add to that, all of Alabama's players need to be passionate about the game they're playing but they need to play the game like a business in order to find the success they/we want. We seem to always follow the momentum of the game, and with every ebb and flow, so goes our play. 

me: What's our best 5 right now? On Saturday in Kentucky, we played a crunch-time 5 of Releford, Randolph, Lacey, Steele (because Tony Mitchell fouled out) and Green/Jacobs — basically, a 4-guard lineup that allowed us to run more. And it would've worked, but we couldn't stop fouling them (particularly, Steele's foul on the jump shooter at about the :40 mark was a killer).

Whit: Releford, Lacey, Randolph, Green, Jacobs. --  I think we should start games with this kind of lineup and run some of the high post stuff that Bama ran under (ohgoddon'tsayit) Gottfried. We had Davidson and Hendrix at the time, and they were able to beat some people up at the beginning of games with a lot of that kind of action.
• Releford, Steele, Randolph, Mitchell, Green -- I like this lineup to run with and because Steele provides some leadership and solid decision making on the court at all times. He also tends to be the old guy in the gym who knows when to attack and get fouled, when to sag out and be open for a three, and when to calm everybody else down. I think Randolph will come along as the season goes. I really like him because he has a good looking shot and has the rebounding capability to cause problems underneath.  (Maybe post him up and clear out with undersized defenders?)

me: If we make it in the tournament, you think we have a shot to do anything?

Whit: I think that we'll make the tournament and win one or two. As we all know, Alabama can get hot shooting the ball and blow some people out. We also know that they can make 0 3s for a game, be completely deflated, and quit before it's over. I hope that they can catch fire shooting the ball at the right time. 

Tuesday tube: The last time

With the passing of the legendary Joe Paterno Sunday morning, it seems only appropriate to dedicate this week's Tuesday tube to him. First, the last meeting between Paterno and coach Bryant, which took place at Legion Field in 1982.

And, of course, there's the 2011 version, which turned out to be little more than a great road trip.

It turned out to be the last loss for Joe Paterno as a head coach. I'm not sure how to feel about that, really.

Monday links (on Tuesday): The Day We All Lost

Editor's Note: This edition of "Monday links" was going up Monday morning, but the tornadoes that blew through here around 4 a.m. sort of knocked me off schedule. My apologies, and here we go.

Like most people who love college football, much of my weekend was dominated by news about Joe Paterno, who really did die Sunday morning, only a few hours after the Internet briefly killed him, then brought him back to life in "serious" condition. There is no way for this blog to properly eulogize Paterno, who was probably more synonymous with Penn State football than anyone is synonymous with a single football program in football (that sentence made no sense, but I'm leaving it there).

And anyway, a number of great writers will discuss Paterno's life and death in detail in the coming days, weeks and months. Jack McCallum and the overly bitter and angry Buzz Bissinger are already on the case, as is the great Spencer Hall.

A 90,000-student university does not rise out of the hills of the Alleghenies without an anchor point, and a tragedy like the Jerry Sandusky scandal does not happen without an institution to shelter it. Build a pyramid around a live pharaoh, and you have a palace. Have the pharaoh die, and it becomes a tomb.

My memories of Paterno will always be affected by two things: That he kept Penn State football in a holding pattern for the last 8-10 years of his career (because he was afraid he would die if he quit) and ... well, you know.
Even so, he may be the last great coach that ever walks the college football universe. And I hope he's at peace.

playing the name game in this week's column

Another week, another newspaper column. I had a little bit of fun with this one — which, I suppose, is the whole point. As always, please visit the St. Clair Times website, find me on Twitter or leave your comments here. And thank you for caring. Even if you don't.

Careful with the name; it could be tricky

I don’t consider my own name to be particularly difficult. It’s just two syllables — three if you’re a real Southerner and like to draw out words (“Weeuhhhlll”).

Nevertheless, I go lots of places and find that people tend to confuse my given name and my family name.

“Heath,” I often hear. “Get over here.”

Eventually, people will realize their mistake and apologize.

“I just realize I’ve been calling you by your last name. Sorry about that, Bill.”

I learned to live with it. After all, I played football in high school and there’s a certain camaraderie in being addressed only by your surname.

“Gawdamighty knows, Heath. You can’t do no better than that?”

There are worse things to be called, I suppose. Only last week in New Orleans, I was called everything from “Tiger Bait” to “Crimson” to “redneck,” to a bunch of other words I can’t print (and can barely pronounce). It was a welcome change when we made it back so I could pick up my shirts from the cleaners, and received a new name from the lady behind the counter.

“Just one minute, sweetheart … What can I help you with, sweetheart? … Is this all you need, sweetheart? … You have a nice day, sweetheart.”

A pleasant change, if only for a few minutes.

Most everyone I know has, at some point in life, dealt with an unflattering nickname, or just a name they got stuck with.

The head football coach at Clemson University, for example, is an Alabama kid whose given name is William Christopher Swinney. At some point in his youth, however, his brother referred to him simply as “That Boy,” only when he said it, it came out “Dabo.” And so now, he holds a high-profile job and makes seven figures every year … and most of the world knows him only as “Dabo.”

As familiar to local football fans is young Quintorris Jones, from Foley. You probably think his name is “Julio.” I don’t blame you — and, in all likelihood, neither does he — for not knowing that; Julio is much easier to spell.

And now that I’m in the business of writing for a living — meager though it is — I’m apparently as guilty of giving out false names as anyone else. Not so long ago, I was at a meeting where a lady from St. Vincent’s Health System came up to shake my hand.

“I’ve been waiting a long time to do this,” she said. “I’m the PR gerbil for St. Vincent’s.”

Oops. Guess that one’s on me.

“Um … nice to meet you?”