gameday texts: week 11

Welcome back to another edition of "Gameday Texts," which started slow (much like Bama) but picked up as the day went on. As always, all messages appear exactly as they do on my phone, complete with timestamp. Also as always, all are [sic]d; fair warning: a few may be possibly offensive (though not really). Feel free to contribute your own thoughts, either here or on Twitter.


Whit (8:05 a.m.) "Oregon ... just a bunch of space hippies"


Halcombe (8:40 a.m.) Did I just hear the latest Pokemon are Lunesta and Cymbalta? I give up.

me (8:42 a.m.) Strange week. Don't think I'm mentally prepared to watch us play tonight.
Maguire (8:44 a.m.) I'm with you there. Doesn't really feel like game day. I'll be going through the motions. Just hope our guys aren't doing the same.
D. Hardin (8:56 am.) My give a damn got busted last week
Dad (9:09 a.m.) Weirdest week I can recall ... all around ... very strange.

Halcombe (9:10 a.m.) There are other games besides PSU-Nebraska today?
Halcombe (9:13 a.m.) The whole "Game Day from Palo Alto" idea was better in concept than reality. What is it 4:30 a.m. out there?

Dad (9:56 a.m.) Think anybody will show up in Starkvegas today?
me (9:57 a.m.) Hopefully the team.
Dad (9:58 a.m.) That is "iffy" at best

Halcombe (10:41 a.m.) Is that the crying Indian dude making picks on Game Day?

Halcombe (10:46 a.m.) Picking UGA in a rivalry game that really matters is like telling your mom your mother-in-law "really understands." Everyone loses except Auburn. 

Rob (12:03 p.m.) What's up with these puss punts by muschamp?

Rob (12:29 p.m.) Texas doesn't fair well against sec schools. Go mizzu!

Jamie (12:52 p.m.) What's you're halftime speech down 49-0?


me (1:27 p.m.) Brando: "We've seen Jim Grobe do this at Wake Forest before, haven't we?" Rest of the world: "What?"

me (1:45 p.m.) Kentucky may be the worst SEC team of my lifetime.

Rob (1:50 p.m.) That was a fumble by Brantley. Kinda obvious when both his hands hit the ground while being tackled. These guys are getting paid for this?

me (2:21 p.m.) Penn State students will riot some more, I guess.
Rob (2:22 p.m.) They better I need some more primetime coverage to watch!

Jonathan Page (2:37 p.m.) Overused quote of the day? "X controls their own destiny"
Jonathan Page (2:38 p.m.) Gettin on my nerves

me (2:39 p.m.) Memorable opening lines, by Verne: "This year the game will be played in Athens."

Audra (2:41 p.m.) That stupid blue field hurts my head.

Dad (2:43 p.m.) Defense cheers after giving up 6 on first down

Mama (2:58 p.m.) It looks like georgia has several bulldogs.

Mama (3:01 p.m.) Ummmmm what about these kids painted black? Is that appropriate?

Mama (3:04 p.m.) That's german for touchdown maker?
me (3:06 p.m.) What's Uzomah?
Mama (3:07 p.m.) That is bengali for lobber

Mama (3:13 p.m.) Thorpe is bengali for watch him catch!

me (3:30 p.m.) Classic moment just now in Boise-TCU game: Badly burned DB fell over like he'd been shot. "I can't catch that guy — I'm in pain!"

Audra (3:30 p.m.) Don't tell Jess ... go horned frogs
Rob (3:33 p.m.) Ha just saw it he got sniped!
D. Hardin (3:59 p.m.) My neck!!! My back!!! My neck and my back!!! I need a Backieautomee!!!

Halcombe (3:40 p.m.) Real life: My wife has been having contractions all day (may be false) and I go, "There's your Dr." during wide shot of Sanford.
Wife: WHAT? WHERE?!
Me: There

Rob (3:52 p.m.) Auburn is sure making uga look good

Halcombe (4:04 p.m.) What if UGA were to beat LSU in SEC title game? We would all never hear the end of it. 

Jamie (4:07 p.m.) At least we know how to lose

Halcombe (4:29 p.m.) I didn't realize Mizzou's baseball team was good enough to beat Texas. What? On, that was the football score. Eww.

me (4:32 p.m.) AU Network guys sound like they could use a drink or 8.
Dad (4:44 p.m.) Na na na na na napa know how

me (4:53 p.m.) CBS just credited a UGA player for dancing with the band like a doofus.
Jamie (5:16 p.m.) His team has taken the manhood of his opponent. He can do whatever he wants.

me (5:00 p.m.) I will absolutely accept a Sugar Bowl bid vs. Boise. Just because. 

Rob (5:01 p.m.) Ditto and I wi be there
Maguire (5:03 p.m.) Me too. Let's knock Kellen Moore's front teeth out.
Rob (5:04 p.m.) Mostly cause I love Cajun food

Halcombe (5:01 p.m.) I know Verne has a story somewhere that begins with, "You know, I was eating a pie at a Bob Evans ..."

Halcombe (5:05 p.m.) Fifth Quarter with Gary Danielson, and special musical guest Kutless?
Halcombe (5:06 p.m.) Verne gave up on even trying to say "Hancock" right on that toss to the studio." Hack-coh, cock-han ..."
Halcombe (5:07 p.m.) UGA's kinda luck: Win big but lose Crowell to some freak high ankle sprain and lose East lead.

Audra (5:27 p.m.) That camera man is gonna make me have a seizure if he keeps going back and forth on that blue field.

me (5:42 p.m.) Why'd they score that one? Because (bleep) you, that's why.

Rob (5:43 p.m.) That one was for fairley

Audra (5:57 p.m.) Now that took balls
Audra (5:57 p.m.) I hope u know what I am talking about, otherwise awkward

me (6:05 p.m.) How badly does the MWC want to job TCU? They already made them go to Boise, & now this.

Jamie (7:04 p.m.) And to think, our head coach didn't want to give cam newton a scholarship. Shouldn't that be some kind of hint?

me (7:05 p.m.) "No points, just a lot of physicality."
Jamie (7:11 p.m.) I think state is playing 13 men at the los

me (7:14 p.m.) "Hey, even though the kid clearly has psychological issues kicking from that distance, let's send him back out there! I'm a genius — don't question me."

Maguire (7:15 p.m.) That's that we were saying.
Maguire (7:17 p.m.) I think we should quick kick in those situations.

Dad (7:27 p.m.) They should just go for it anyway. MSU can't move it.

Maguire (7:24 p.m.) This is getting ridiculous.

me (7:25 p.m.) My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

Rob (7:28 p.m.) Yeah on. It

Halcombe (7:28 p.m.) Glad to see Notre Dame didn't feel compelled to match Terps' crazy jerseys.

me (7:39 p.m.) The old "Throw it up & Hope We get Pass Interference" offense.

Maguire (7:39 p.m.) That wasn't a mistake. 13 knew he was beat, so he knocked White down.

me (7:49 p.m.) Without a doubt, my favorite running thing a/b Oregon is that they sometimes go for 2, just cause.

Halcombe (7:53 p.m.) The Eye of Sauron is beating the Ents 8-0 after the first age of man.

Halcombe (8:00 p.m.) Shamrocks taking care of the Caligraphy class gone awry in the Catholic Bowl right now.

Halcombe (8:04 p.m.) Oregon band played Phantom Menace finale piece (where the slobbering thing gets the blue orb) following that last first down. 

Jamie (8:08 p.m.) If you are a huge fan of special teams, and you are watching espn, you have a noose around your neck and are on a ledge.

Halcombe (8:29 p.m.) Cardinal must have looked to UGA-UF game for pointers on how to give up TDs on 4th and long.

Dad (8:45 p.m.) HE MADE IT!!!!

Halcombe (8:46 p.m.) Congrats on the FG make. Only one week too late.

me (9:02 p.m.) I quit.
Maguire (9:03 p.m.) I'm drinking now c

Rob (9:04 p.m.) I need scotch

me (9:07 p.m.) State turning to the magic of Favre.
Maguire (9:08 p.m.) I hope it's not his uncle's style of magic. At least, not the kind he tried to work on Jenn Sterger.

Maguire (9:16 p.m.) Special teams ... or special ed?

Maguire (9:30 p.m.) Our 3rd down conversion woes might have something to do with our aversion to throwing the ball past the line of scrimmage when we need 7 yards or more.

Maguire (9:41 p.m.) #3 may be from another planet.
Maguire (9:41 p.m.) Like Krypton.
me (9:42 p.m.) If you shoot him you'll just make him mad.

Rob (9:43 p.m.) Erin said like a rhinoceros

Jamie (9:45 p.m.) 2 weeks in a row auburn has scored more points that alabama vs common opponents. Get some.
me (9:45 p.m.) I can't talk right now. I'm drinking.

Jamie (9:53 p.m.) You're just embarrassed from my last observation.
me (9:59 p.m.) I'm definitely embarrassed about something.

Maguire (9:54 p.m.) 9-1. Roll Tide.

Dad (10:15 p.m.) Stanford uni looks like Bama from 1966

me (10:21 p.m.) Pac-12's MNC hopes just died on the table.

Rob  (10:22 p.m.) And possibly heisman
Audra (10:23 p.m.) Today has turned out good