Tuesday, September 13, 2011

gameday texts: week 2

The DBH Dance Party welcomes you back to "Gameday Texts," an assortment of quick-hit thoughts from a pretty hilarious group of friends and relatives. As always, the messages are presented here as they were received, complete with a time stamp and name. They are [sic]d and some may be mildly offensive. Although probably not. Please to enjoy. 

Jamie (8:58 a.m.) Fyi if you haven't seen it, the coastal car coach makes soundbite history. Meeow.

Rob (9:07 a.m.) So jealous u r up there
Amanda Burkett (10:20 a.m.) My newest pet peeve is the word "yoonie"
Pedro (10:12 a.m.) Tell your wife she's missing out — Auburn is celebrating their national championship team at halftime — their national championship equestrian team

me (10:20 a.m.) Y'all know he was a virgin till he was 28?!
Rob (10:21 a.m.) And now roll tide!
Maguire (10:40 a.m.) And now ... Roll Tide!

Halcombe (10:56 a.m.) Not sure if Desmond or Kirk is more nervous to have a black child in their lap?
Halcombe (10:57 a.m.) And, by his salivating, Lee is dying to have a black child in his lap. None of that sounded right.
Halcombe (10:59 a.m.) A single dude hollered "YEAH!!!" from Ann Arbor Gameday set when Kirk picked Miss. St big over Auburn. Nice to see the Bulldogs represented today. 

Halcombe (11:01 a.m.) Desmond's kid picked "mush-uh-dan" to win. Unsure of their matchup today.
Whit (11:02 a.m.) Best sign at gameday "carson tinker is my hero."
Halcombe (11:02 a.m.) CSS crew pissed over getting Ga. St. game. Can't say I blame them.
Halcombe (11:03 a.m.) Is that an unemployed Bowden on the ACC Blitz?

Jamie (11:04 a.m.) People rushing to see the eagle fly. After 45 times, it has lost that type of appeal
Halcombe (11:06 a.m.) Bad thing about about being Duke kicker: Some guy on your squad will have physics equation on "why u didn't account for wind variance" written on playboard at bench.
Halcombe (11:07 a.m.) Hey, who needs college football, "Australia" starring Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman is on TNT. Know where you'll find me!

Rob (11:58 a.m.) Au's white middle linebacker must have been benched
Rob (11:59 a.m.) Cheezit has a short sleeve turtleneck on

Whit (1:04 p.m.) Aub trying to be dirtiest bunch of good christian folk on planet. Miss st LT broken leg most likely. 
Rob (1:10 p.m.) Au looks like a different teAm today
Rob (1:12 p.m.) These announcers are so f-in bad I am glad I am usually at the game not having to listen to these morons

Maguire (1:10 p.m.) We'll be fine. Probably a low-scoring game, but we win by 10.

me (1:28 p.m.) "Trust me: it's way louder here than in the SEC." O rly?
Whit (1:29 p.m.) Shenanigans, I say. How long has that person been drinking? Whatever it is, I want some
Maguire (1:33 p.m.) Riiiiight. Good luck with that.

Rob (1:31 p.m.) Um right ...

me (1:57 p.m.) PSU fan, on seeing Jesse Williams, et al: "O sh-t."
Rob (1:59 p.m.) Good thing they didn't see Cody

Rob (2:26 p.m.) Dan Mullen must have been paid off

me (2:10 p.m.) Same guy: "Wait till you see our big slow white guys with really thick legs who can't run with anybody."
Rob (2:13 p.m.) He gonna do stand up at tuscaloosa amphithester

Pedro (2:32 p.m.) I don't know if it's just the white, but WOW there's a lot of crimson

me (2:47 p.m.) One step behind right now.
Rob (2:41 p.m.) Yeah we are getting blown off the ball
Moody (2:51 p.m.) Just flipped over, but Penn state has used all 3 time outs in less than 8 minutes?

me (2:55 p.m.) Probably their best shot right there.

Rob (2:56 p.m.) Yep we figures them out at the end of the drive

Maguire (3:10 p.m.) WOW.
Moody (3:15 p.m.) Auburn's back up safety just earned his scholarship and won auburn a football game.

me (3:39 p.m.) Quieted down in here a good bit.

Maguire (3:41 p.m.) Yeah, after that score I thought "That ought to shut these people up."
Whit (3:43 p.m.) Yeah thought it was louder than sec
Rob (3:44 p.m.) I'll bet our offense and defense will bore u to death

Whit (3:50 p.m.) Fumble
Dad (3:51 p.m.) Fumble
Maguire (3:52 p.m.) I wonder about these refs' competence if they said his knee was down. Our ball, easy.

Maguire (3:52 p.m.) He was never close to the ground. 
Pedro (3:52 p.m.) "His knees were not down. His knees were pointed to heaven when the ball came loose." — Eli

me (4:00 p.m.) Very impressed with McCarron. Very composed.
Maguire (4:26 p.m.) He has showed a lot of poise. No need to air it out now, though.

me (4:11 p.m.) Will be shocked if we put it in the air in the second half.
Rob (4:19 p.m.) Announcer Phillip mccarron leading the tide at halftime

Jamie (4:27 p.m.) Well that was damn fun

me (4:20 p.m.) Bama leading ever first half statistical category except "Awesome Mustaches."
Whit (4:24 p.m.) Well that's a given
Jamie (4:28 p.m.) But the bama goatee more than covers

Pedro (4:42 p.m.) Eli is now blaming the officials for depriving a children's medical facility funding

me (4:43 pm.) Kodi Mandel was an All-SEC freshman last year. Just thought that was worth pointing out.
Rob (4:45 p.m.) I am gonna say he is regressing

Halcombe (4:54 p.m.) Senior citizens cry foul over reduced name font of S. Carolina jerseys. 
Halcombe (4:58 p.m.) Yeah UGA, we know R.E.M. is from Athens but answer me this: How often are you hangin with the gay one? BOOM!

Halcombe (5:00 p.m.) Was that personal or a quick reading of Saban's mind?
Travis P (5:02 p.m.) Jim mc suxs or has ni ball Give malzahn our talent. Forget about scoring under 50. No matter who the head coach is.

Pedro (5:04 p.m.) Todd's taste of the town is painful this week (even more so than usual). It's like us in 20 years talking on national tv @ the diner & crimson cafe

Halcombe (5:08 p.m.) UGA 3rd and 8: incomplete SC 3rd and 13: slant across the middle for 20. Gee, don't know why Richt is catching so much flack?

Travis P (5:09 p.m.) 3rd and 9. Dial that 4 yd screen again. Simply shit you can't do on playstation on retard mode — Bama will try it. Except using the guys on the sideline. 

me (5:29 p.m.) Night night fellas.
Maguire (5:30 p.m.) That'll do it.

Pedro (5:34 p.m.) Guess who's getting the ball? If you don't know, we'll just tell you
Rob (5:38 p.m.) Lots of blue seats

Jamie (5:37 p.m.) South carolina played as bad as they could in the 1st half. And led 14-13.

Maguire (5:59 p.m.) 2-0. Roll Tide.

Jamie (6:10 p.m.) Georgia has derailed
Jamie (6:53 p.m.) Great friggin game
Pedro (7:10 p.m.) In exciting news, Notre Dame Michigan is getting preempted by a game in the SEC's weaker division. Also, Georgia's down at home with 2 left & lost the onsides
Pedro (7:15 p.m.) NOW Spurrier has them kneel on the ball? NOW?!?!?!? Run it up, Steve. Run. It. Up.

Pedro (8:18 p.m.) The Mrs. on Hoke — "I don't know where he's from, but that's the biggest Bubba to walk the sideline since the great Pumpkin himself."
Pedro (8:30 p.m.) More from the Mrs., this time on Notre Dame's socks — "I haven't seen stripey knee-high socks since my brother stopped wearing his star wars ones."

Jack (8:55 p.m.) YEEEEAAAAHHHH
Maguire (8:55 p.m.) Where the gold at?

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