Monday, September 26, 2011

gameday texts: week 4

This week's edition of "Gameday Texts" is pretty mundane, though some of what comes from the Arkansas game is actually pretty good. As always, each message appears here exactly as it does in my phone. A mild warning: Some of the language may be mildly offensive, although it probably isn't. As always, feel free to complain either here or by finding me on Twitter. Please to enjoy.

Jamie (8:29 a.m.) Irony: erin andrews telling someone else to check their hotel room door for mischief
Jamie (8:32 a.m.) I wonder how clemson "shocked the nation" last week. Weren't they 3 pt favorites?

Me (9:04 a.m.) The Big & Rich song has surpassed merely being annoying. I genuinely wish them harm now.

Whit (9:10 a.m.) Welcome to the team

Dad (10:02 a.m.) I just realized how appropriate the song "livin' on a prayer" is for aubie p.a.

Me (12:51 p.m.) It appears the UA KDs all decided to wear long jerseys with leggings, instead of dresses.
Mama (1:13 p.m.) So fashionable!

Me (12:46 p.m.) Is Houston wearing that hat in the hopes no one will recognize him?
Maguire (12:47 p.m.) I think he should add a fake mustache and glasses. The hat alone isn't working.

Maguire (12:48 p.m.) He should probably make a deal with the devil, too.
Me (12:48 p.m.) Or a deal with ESPN. He's headed there anyway.

Me (12:56 p.m.) I say Ole Miss just onsides it every time. What's the happen that could happen, really?

Dad (1:07 p.m.) Ole Ms is really bad
Rob (1:20 p.m.) It's bad when u having nothing to loose in the 4th game of year

Maguire (2:38 p.m.) Gonna find out a few things about ourselves today. RTR.

Halcombe (2:38 p.m.) Is Verne Lundquist more like
c) Danny Devito in "Sunny in Philadelphia?"

Maguire (2:43 p.m.) Glad we're not meerkats.
Maguire (2:46 p.m.) Your ass is supposed to be in your seat.

Stacey (2:45 p.m.) Put me in your blog post! #shameless

Jamie (2:50 p.m.) I'm not sure petrino realizes he starts the game with 3 time outs.
Halcombe (3:00 p.m.) Saban looking extra "cocky man at the monthly subdivision meeting' today.
Halcombe (3:01 p.m.) Arkansas defense looking more "Treutlen, Wheeler, Montgomery" today.

Halcombe (3:08 p.m.) Razorback RB must have answered yes to the following question: Can you run between you "A" gap and "B" gap? 
Answer: That's where the lineman should be, dummy.
Halcombe (3:18 p.m.) Time when you hate being a paginator: Kerning on endzone art is too close, and you're the only one who notices.
Halcombe (3:24 p.m.) I hate sideline reporters. They offer nothing positive to my life. They are food equivalent of fat free mayo: flavorless and too runny to stick to bread.

Maguire (3:41 p.m.) Did Dave Rader kidnap Jim McElwain and take his place in the box?
Dad (3:43 p.m.) Very poor execution. He scored on the sneak btw.

Maguire (3:49 p.m.) Needed that. Hope it gives us a shot in the arm. RTR.

Jamie (3:59 p.m.) Dre Kirk wanted his name called today, it seems

Me (4:25 p.m.) "Cade" is a stupid name.
Maguire (4:26 p.m.) I would never name my kid that.
Me (4:31 p.m.) I'll be damned.

Dad (4:31 p.m.) ..uh, wow

D. Hardin (4:32 p.m.) That was unreal
Maguire (4:32 p.m.) Best run of Maze's life. 
Dad (4:32 p.m.) Made 26 people miss

Me (4:43 p.m.) Um ... what?
D. Hardin (4:44 p.m.) Yeah is this a fluke or are we pretty good?

Me (4:44 p.m.) We may have overrated Arkansas a bit.

Maguire (4:46 p.m.) Doubt Arkansas will run the ball again today.
Jamie (4:58 p.m.) I think their DL injuries hurt some but bama OL played better than they have all year by a long shot, considering the competition to this point.

Me (4:50 p.m.) They ain't goin away ...
D. Hardin (4:51 p.m.) Naw we knew they wouldn't but I think wilson's willingness to play is going away
Maguire (4:51 p.m.) Not going away, but we know how they're gonna do it. Got to stop them in the air.

Me (4:59 p.m.) Gary: "What struck me about the tornado destruction was how haphazard it was." And that guy knows haphazard.
Whit (5:12 p.m.) Gary can kiss my big black ass

Me (5:02 p.m.) Was that a joke?
Me (5:02 p.m.) Seriously, he thought he could run a simple lead on 4th & 1?
D. Hardin (5:04 p.m.) Wow I know didn't even follow the full back

Me (5:16 p.m.) Upon further review, it looked an awful lot like Petrino called his QB "a fcking coward" just now.

Me (5:27 p.m.) More from Gary: "He took it in the chin from 6 different guys."
Maguire (5:28 p.m.) #unintentionalporn

Zach (5:28 p.m.) Wow. See tv now. Asswhip.

Me (5:32 p.m.) Feel any better about last week seeing what Clemson is doing to FSU?

Jamie (5:33 p.m.) No matter what happened today our d still sucks until further notice.
Zach (5:35 p.m.) No. FSU sucks. Auburn sucks.
Zach (5:35 p.m.) But we will get better. FSU wont.

Dad (5:35 p.m.) Petrino does not care for the ref's opinion.

Halcombe (5:36 p.m.) Da Sawks are down 9-1 in 7th. Bet now Big Papi is wishing "This is Sportscenter" ad came true before start of season.

Me (5:38 p.m.) Gary WILL NOT stop talking about how Arkansas can still win the West.
D. Hardin (5:40 p.m.) He is idiot ... He also said ... the way to beat alabama may not be a passing offense. Well hell Ven they are negative running the ball bitch
Maguire (5:43 p.m.) He's like the folks in politics now. "Anybody but Alabama." Hell with him, he's an idiot.

Dad (5:44 p.m.) Bama is so lucky!

Maguire (5:48 p.m.) 4-0. Roll Tide.

Jamie (5:42 p.m.) This may set a record for fewest fans for a traveling team. Owls run to the locker room pre game and not 1 person in vistors section cheered. Not one

Me (7:02 p.m.) Kirk's outfit tonight was picked out by a black preacher.

Jamie (7:05 p.m.) Whatever it is, it looks better than our football team

Jamie (7:27 p.m.) Without a doubt the worst combined display of football I have ever witnessed.

Me (7:34 p.m.) Brent just nominated the Mathieu kid from LSU for SEC Player of the Year.

Rob (8:09 p.m.) Jeez little early in the year huh?

Dad (8:00 p.m.) Four weeks in auburn is working on tackling technique.

Halcombe (8:23 p.m.) I'm waiting for Brent to accidentally throw out a LLWS reference like, "Geno Smith is comparable to Jake Fromm, the fine young man from WR."
Halcombe (8:28 p.m.) What's the point of the Michelin Man's sash? Did he win the "Mr. Naked Tire Pitchman" or something?
Halcombe (8:32 p.m.) What is Big Bird's opinion of all this yellow in prime time?
Halcombe (8:49 p.m.) Think I heard Brent just say he'd nominate Mathieu for statehood and immediately place him on the UN Security Council.

Zach (8:52 p.m.) Watching Auburn be terrible at the moment.

Jamie (9:45 p.m.) Holgorsen fits into wv nicely. Just mouthed "bush league mf-ers" to lsu sideline

Rob (10:02 p.m.) So ur saying there's a chance
Me (10:02 p.m.) Not anymore.
Rob (10:03 p.m.) Whoops

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