Sunday, October 30, 2011

gameday texts: bye week edition

This week's edition of "Gameday Texts" is even fatter than normal — it was the bye week in Tuscaloosa, meaning most of us had nothing to do other than hang out in our houses and watch football. And there was some pretty good football, as you know by now. As always, all messages appear complete with timestamp, and all are [sic]d. Also as always, some material may be mildly offensive. But it probably is not. Feel free to comment here or by finding us on Twitter.

Me (9:39 a.m.) In spite of the fact that we all know Stanford's BCS rating will improve in the coming weeks, let us now ignore that & use it as an excuse to whine a/b the system. You suck, system.

Me (10:13 a.m.) The "We're Playing Ga. Tech" cliche box: Don't see that too often, play assignment football, limit big plays.

Halcombe (11:35 a.m.) Odds Brantley had some epic day and UGA fans are left going "Son of a .." all the way up I-95 and 441?

Me (12:10 p.m.) The Vandy band is currently playing "All I Do is Win."

Me (12:34 p.m.) Once more, with feeling: VANDY!!!

Halcombe (12:17 p.m.) One of my interns reads your blog and mentioned some of my gameday texts have made the final cut. I am humbled sir ... And I also want a cut. I'm rich beeyotch!

Halcombe (12:32 p.m.) I imagine Lane Kiffin saying something like this during coaches' only meeting: "Aw, c'mon dad. You never let me pick. Gawd! I hate you."

Halcombe (12:37 p.m.) To be a heartland state school, you ever noticed how many muslim players end up on Nebraska's team? Not hatin', just sayin'.

Me (12:43 p.m.) It's entirely reasonable to wonder if Tyler Wilson's OL hates him. 

Rob (12:45 p.m.) He can definitely take a hut
Rob (12:45 p.m.) Hit!

Halcombe (12:54 p.m.) I wish I could email the Bud Light PK commercial to my HS kicker with a subject line, "DIDN'T KNOW YOU STILL TAILGATED?"
Halcombe (12:58 p.m.) True story: Had to create a Faberget (pardon spelling) egg for World History. His was green and gold with a f'ball going thru uprights. I raised my hand and asked, "Shouldn't that (the ball) be over to the right?"

Maguire (1:30 p.m.) Throw his ass out of the game. 
Halcombe (2:16 p.m.) Loved the Razorback coach fussing at the ejected kid like a dad who can't get his belt off fast enough. 

Dad (1:50 p.m.) Andre Ware is as bad as Dave Rowe and Bob Davie rolled into one. 

Me (2:04 p.m.) ... And that's why you're Vandy. 
Dad (2:04 p.m.) My words exactly

Me (2:42 p.m.) Vandy playing for the tie?

Jamie (2:44 p.m.) No the loss
Whit (2:44 p.m.) No dicking idea because regional coverage gave me florida game

Maguire (2:45 p.m.) Damn, Vandy. Just damn. Why do we get our hopes up?

Me (2:45 p.m.) This might be the most Vandy loss in the history of Vandy.
Dad (2:47 p.m.) Yeah. Terrible, just terrible.

Maguire (2:48 p.m.) He said Arkansas likes to live on the edge. Really? They're only playing for the Citrus Bowl anyway.

Travis P (2:49 p.m.) Dores will be Dores

Me (3:07 p.m.) How is it possible a QB playing on 1 leg converts a 4th-and-19 for a TD? No wonder UGA hates Florida.
Rob (3:08 p.m.) Grantham appears worth every penny
Dad (3:11 p.m.) Don't you love to hate the ga def coordinator?

Me (3:37 p.m.) Cade Foster just watched that Demps return & thought, "Kicker should've got him."

Dad (3:38 p.m.) No one even touched him

Me (4:03 p.m.) I say we go find 22 homeless people & put UF jerseys on them. Bet they still beat UGA.
Rob (4:11 p.m) Imagine what would happen if they gave the homeless people crack!

Me (4:43 p.m.) Muschamp used the phrase "one tough sucker." We were all waiting on the f-bomb that never came.
Me (5:02 p.m.) Let's go find 2 more homeless people & put them in the booth. See if anyone notices. 
Maguire (5:14 p.m.) I'd call that an improvement over those two clowns. 

Me (5:15 p.m.) How much longer do we have to pretend Georgia is good? Gators doing everything they can to give this away ... & they're up 3.
Rob (5:17 p.m.) They do less with more at uga!

Maguire (5:25 p.m.) I guess Weis stayed in the box today so he could remain sitting and no one would give him grief for it. Also he can snack without being seen. 

Jamie (5:49 p.m.) Ole miss has 15 fans here
Dad (5:50 p.m.) Here I am in aubie-ville. 
Dad (5:54 p.m.) They have beer! ... outside.

Maguire (6:29 p.m.) How 'bout them Dawgs!
Me (6:33 p.m.) A historic win, really — Florida plays a QB with 1 leg who can't complete a pass, commits 14 penalties & turns it over 2 times inside the 20. And they won by 3.

Me (6:37 p.m.) My ideal scenario now is to play UGA in the SECCG. Unfortunately I think AU will beat them & keep them out. 
Rob (6:51 p.m.) I would rather play USC without lattimore

Me (7:01 p.m.) Clemp-son is a redneck school.

D. Hardin (7:09 p.m.) Snow snow snow

Jamie (7:33 p.m.) Apparently we have an agreement that we will run plays if they won't call a time out.

Dad (7:42 p.m.) And to heck with georgia tech!

Me (8:54 p.m.) So A&M won the football game, but Bama State won Battle of the Bands.

Me (9:03 p.m.) Kudos to Ohio State for breaking out the "Wicked Witch of the West's Army" alternate unis.

Halcombe (9:33 p.m.) The OSU jerseys keep Conan's "In the year 2000" song ringing in my head. 

Maguire (9:32 p.m.) The ref moving that ball half the distance in the GT/Clemson game just now might be the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Halcombe (9:41 p.m.) That shot of the Jacket cheerleaders did absolutely nothing for the school's street cred.
Me (9:54 p.m.) Dabo might have just choked.

Halcombe (10:04 p.m.) Love Clemson coaching staff's use of "Your dad's Clemson sweatshirt," and "Your dad's Clemson turtleneck." Like consecutive Father's Day gifts on sidelines.

Me (10:17 p.m.) Is it possible that God hates Wisconsin?
Jamie (10:38 p.m.) I'm thinking more like God hates yankees and Wisconsin is just bundled in there with the rest of them. 

Whit (10:21 p.m.) God also hates stanford
Me (10:21 p.m.) It's because of the tree
Whit (10:22 p.m.) Of course

Me (10:31 p.m.) Harbaugh would go for 2.
Whit (10:32 p.m.) Without question. Then he would shake your hand too hard.

Rob (10:37 p.m.) He would have gone for two on every rd
Rob (10:37 p.m.) Td!

Me (10:44 p.m.) Think the guys from Buffalo Wild Wings called that last sequence.
Rob (10:45 p.m.) Might have called that play

Rob (10:48 p.m.) So the stats in ot count man I am glad he told us that.

Rob (10:49 p.m.) I have not seen the USC cheerleaders enough show them!

Jamie (10:55 p.m.) I'm not sure I understand this new celebration that appears to be imitating eating cheerios.

Me (11:15 p.m.) I have seen Lane Kiffin make that face before ...
Maguire (11:15 p.m.) And Stanford survives. Good — I want to beat them in New Orleans.
Whit (11:15 p.m.) I like it

No comments: