gameday texts: State edition

Here is this week's edition of "Gameday Texts," wherein we post funny, poignant and memorable things people text me. As always, the time stamps and names are as they appear in my phone. Also as always, feel free to leave your own memorable texts here in the comments section, or by finding me on Twitter. Special thanks to my friend Daniel for compiling some texts he received from me, then emailing them to me. Not sure if that will make this week better or worse.

Maguire (9:03 a.m.): Crap ... apparently they're coming to our cit-ay again.
Whit (9:03 a.m.): I want a pretzel too!

Jamie (9:50 a.m.): Beat State's ass.
Dad (9:51 a.m.): Guess AU will be for 'Bama today, huh?
Halcombe (10:16 a.m.): Think today Miss ST will wish they had just paid Newton the cash.
Rob (1:02 p.m.): We lose tonight I am becoming a basketball fan.

Dad (1:14 p.m.): Yes he is playing.
Halcombe (1:17 p.m.): Which makes you happier as a 'Bama fan: Beatin Carolina in the SEC title game w/no shot at a nat'l title OR watching Auburn have to forfeit an undefeated season?
Halcombe (1:18 p.m.): That txt was sent to you from outside the dressing room of a women's designer clothing store.
Zach (1:20 p.m.): He's dressed.

Maguire (2:08 p.m.): How long did you last on the Auburn Network broadcast? I couldn't stomach Chizik's BS about "family" any more. What are they, some sort of crime syndicate?
me (2:18 p.m.): Yes. The Auburn Mafia. Jimmy Rane = Clemenza.

Moody (2:10 p.m.): Breaking news: Cam newton urinated somewhere in Montgomery this morning as he stayed with his teammates at the team hotel. No word yet on whether the Newtons or Auburn University have been offered compensation.

me (2:44 p.m.): CamNewtonCamNetwon CamNewtonCamNetwon CamNewtonCamNetwon CamNewtonCamNetwon.
Halcombe (2:50 p.m.): Is that the Tigers' first 6 or 7 plays?

Whit (3;04 p.m.): A.J. Green is going to have to have a record day for UGA to win.

Halcombe (3:05 p.m.): Which has more value right now: an Old Navy Bears NFL screen tee or the opinion of Rece Davis on the set of Gameday?

Maguire (3:32 p.m.): I think Cam's got his mind on his money and his money on his mind today.

Maguire (4:08 p.m.): Fairley's got to be juicing. He acts like Lattimer in "The Program."
(Note: for more on this, click here.)

me (4:26 p.m.): “Coach, can you explain this ridiculous shirt you wear every week?”

Halcombe (4:41 p.m.): We don't need no stinking badgers.

Rob (5:36 p.m.): Galletes!

Dad (5:52 p.m.): AU announcers are painful to listen to.
Pedro (6:01 p.m.): Also, booing an injured player who might be faking is "sophisticated," per Gary.

Whit (6:44 p.m.): 'Bama getting dominated at NG right now.

Whit (6:49 p.m.): I didn't get a harumph outta that guy!

Maguire (6:51 p.m.): That's great! We needed 9 yards and threw for 11 instead of 7.

Whit (6:53 p.m.): Miss State band in upper deck across from will's seats.

Dad (6:54 p.m.): How can the O-line be that bad?
Whit (7:01 p.m.): Cuz they suck?

Dad (7:12 p.m.): Eli is awful too.
Whit (7:13 p.m.): Who the eff is OL #61? Gettin beat like he stole somethin!!

me (7:39 p.m.): That was game over.
Whit (7:29 p.m.): Back judget just threw flag 40 yards.

Maguire (7:41 p.m.): Hope you're right. State's not built to come from behind.
me (7:48 p.m.): Don’t think they’ve scored 20 vs. much of anybody all year.
Whit (7:41 p.m.): Great block by gulio hones.

Maguire (7:51 p.m.): Aquarius!
me (7:52 p.m.): That song sucks.
Maguire (7:56 p.m.): Yeah, but now I always think about the rendition at the end of "The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

me (8:08 p.m.): First drive is key…
Whit (8:09 p.m.): No! I will not get out of my seat. You're not the boss of me, jumbotron!

me (8:15 p.m.): 8!
Maguire (8:15 p.m.): I'm gonna miss that kid, and not just for plays like that.
Whit (8:16 p.m.): He's here?
Maguire (8:17 p.m.): Maybe more for things like that block on Mark's long run in the 2nd quarter.

me (8:22 p.m.): The shrieking State fan next to me is drowning his sorrows in soggy nachos.

Dad (8:32 p.m.): O-line could not block a Girl Scout troop.

Maguire (8:33 p.m.): And McCarron's popularity grows ...
me (8:36 p.m.): Yeah. Screw #12. What’s he ever done here anyway?

Dad (8:42 p.m.): AU will beat us by 21.
Jamie (8:42 p.m.): Rod says over the stadium speaker, "Sources say AU wins the West."
(Note: I embedded the video here, and only because I'm impressed at the AU folks for having this thing ready to play immediately after the game.)

Whit (8:45 p.m.): Eddie Lacy! (as Rick James saying Charlie Murphy)
Dad (8:47 p.m.): Scoring more points will help you win.

Jamie (8:50 p.m.): Can I take Bama +21 along with your mortgage?
Dad (8:50 p.m.): A 23-pound honey ham.

Whit (8:51 p.m.): McCarron looks confident.
Maguire (8:52 p.m.): That was dumb.
me (8:58 p.m.): That, by the way, is an early preview of the A.J. McCarron era. That guy’s triple-covered? Why not?
Pedro (8:59 p.m.): McCarron got a spanking from Saban on national TV for that drive.
Maguire (9:02 p.m.): It may well be the Phillip Sims era.
Whit (9:02 p.m.): God, I hope not.

Whit (9:04 p.m.): Would anyone like to play Stratego? ... I have Stratego.

Maguire (9:04 p.m.): I sure hope this secondary gets a lot better next year.
me (9:05 p.m.): Is State’s kicker named Rico Suave?

Whit (9:14 p.m.): D-line is still getting worked in the middle.

me (9:22 p.m.): 1 random dude in our section ringing a cowbell. Looks like he’s collecting for the Salvation Army.
Dad (9:23 p.m.): Santa?
Maguire (9:23 p.m.): Maybe he is. Never too early to start, I guess.

me (9:29 p.m.): No “Rammer Jammer” tonight…
Maguire (9:31 p.m.): Wondered what was up with that.

me (11:55 p.m.): So all you Republi-kins that helped me win, I’d sincerely like to thank ya ...