Wednesday, March 4, 2009

lost-blogging, March edition

In this blog's continuing quest to understand ABC's "Lost," we present to you another edition of "lost-blogging," a discombobulated minute-by-minute account of the episode at hand. As always, SPOILERS WILL OCCUR, SO STAY AWAY IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET.

Before we begin tonight's episode -- tentatively titled "" -- several questions to answer ...
-- When exactly are the survivors? And when are the Oceanic 6 who just came back?
-- When are the "new" survivors?
-- Who's involved in the war? And whose side is the right one to be on?
(All times CST.)
8:00 p.m.: Apparently, tonight's episode is going to focus on the survivors left behind, and what's been going on with them. What's the story with them and their time-travel sickness?
Remember, according to the doofus running this blogger, the theme of the show: "Live Together, Die Alone."
8:02 p.m.: Back to the time in which the statue with the 4 toes was a fully-developed idol. Although we didn't stay there long enough to see exactly WHAT it was, because Locke moved the Island again.
8:03 p.m.: Apparently Locke cured everyone's time-travel sickness. Has Juliet flashed into the movie "Gia?"
8:04 p.m.: What's the significance of 3s? The producers of this show seem to really dig that number, and its exponents.
8:05 p.m.: Another piece of the puzzle becomes clearer -- the polar bears.
8:06 p.m.: Bet a dollar Sawyer answers the door.
8:06 p.m.: I win.
(creepy intro)
8:11 p.m.: Hey, it's Michelle Dessler! Tony Almeida will want to hear about this.
8:12 p.m.: Sawyer wins the prize for "Jimmy Buffett" reference. Coconut Telegraph. Nice.
8:13 p.m.: Question raised by Kurt Branch: what if Daniel Faraday has four toes? Just a thought.
8:16 p.m.: Faraday as philosopher, "It doesn't matter what we do." Not how much more fatalistic the remaining survivors appear to be growing -- what happens, happens, etc.
8:17 p.m.: Racking my brain to come up with the significance of the pregnant woman whose life Sawyer & Juliet apparently saved. Can't. Did enjoy Juliet's momentary display as a cold-blooded killer.
8:21 p.m.: Is the dead DHARMA guy the ghost Locke met last season? He sure looks like him.
8:22 p.m.: Michelle Dessler just said something about a truce before saying something about "having to bring him back."
8:23 p.m.: Sawyer is a professional con man.
8:25 p.m.: A breach baby! Exciting moment for breach babies everywhere. This means they'll have to call on Juliet.
8:26 p.m.: Pop quiz: Juliet is either a) Aunt Jemima, or b) a van mechanic.
8:27 p.m.: At some point, Michelle Dessler decided these folks were trustworthy. And she certainly seems to know their entire story.
And now Jin speaks English? Awesome.
8:28 p.m.: Sawyer says "as long as it takes" again. And Juliet delivers. I mean that literally.
[Commercial thought: few things are more fun than watching Nic Cage over-act in a movie trailer. He's the best, isn't he?]
8:32 p.m.: Apparently we're back to "three years earlier."
8:33 p.m.: Sawyer is back to doing what he's good at: lying like a rug. And he just referenced the "Black Rock."
8:34 p.m.: My HD ABC channel just went out. Grrrr.
8:35 p.m.: The metaphor of the record just came up again. And Faraday is watching Charlotte as a baby. Agonizing.
8:36 p.m.: It's Richard!
8:42 p.m.: The word "truce" just came up again. And now we know that the long-haired guy is named Goodspeed.
8:43 p.m.: Whatever Sawyer is about to say to Richard isn't going to work. Just thinking out loud.
8:46 p.m. : Exactly what the terms are of this "truce?" And dude ... you probably don't want to suffer the consequences. Just saying. It may involve a smoke monster.
8:47 p.m.: Have I seen that cross before?
8:48 p.m.: Something tells me Sawyer & Juliet are going to hook up at some point in these three years. Which, as I've said before, won't please Angelina Jolie.
8:50 p.m.: Do you prefer your Sawyer scruffy or washed? I say scruffy. I'm willing to give a little, though.
8:51 p.m.: All sorts of problems will eventually be caused by this Sawyer-Juliet relationship.
[Thought unrelated to the show: I heard that song "Bad Girlfriend" on the radio today -- very good hook, but probably not a song you'd want to walk around singing to yourself.]
8:56 p.m.: Interesting circularity with the conversation: "How's your head? ... It hurts." Also, we now know that Amy (Michelle) and Goodspeed are married.
8:58 p.m.: Salient question posed by Goodspeed: is three years long enough to get over someone? ... Sawyer utters famous last words in response. I think we all know what's about to happen here.
9:00 p.m.: Yep.
9:01 p.m.: Bet Sawyer remembers what she looked like now.
(and that's that, although ABC reminds us we're going back to the '70s for a new "Life on Mars.")

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