gameday texts: 7th sequence

Welcome back to "Gameday Texts," one of the many running features of this blog (and one of the best liked thus far, from what I can tell). This week's edition features an all-star performance from my old co-worker, Jason Halcombe. As always, the time stamps on each message is accurate, and the names appear on this blog as they do in my address book. Also as always, please feel free to add your own awesome text messages — either sent or received — either in the comments section or by finding me on Twitter. Please note: any texts labeled "Stacey" actually came from my wife while she was sitting next to me. Please to enjoy.

Dad (8:33 a.m.): Y'all keep 'em straight up air.
Jamie (9:07 a.m.): Nice sweater vest gene.
Maguire (9:19 a.m.): We're Jayhawks ourselves.
(Note: This is a reference I'll cite for the uninitiated.)

Pedro (9:55 a.m.): Don't bend over in the garden, granny, you know them taters got eyes.
Dad (12:52 p.m.): Know what you mean. I'm a Hoosier m'self.
Chad C (1:28 p.m.): I'm in Auburn, hating life.

Pedro (2:00 p.m.): I'm not a dog person.
Whit (2:21 p.m.): Roll Tide.

Dad (2:25 p.m.): C'mon Sparty.
Pedro (2:38 p.m.): The best way to describe Texas students' faces is like they just caught their smoking hot girlfriend with the class dweeb — shocked, but more just confused.

Dad (2:55 p.m.): Here come the Irish.

Chad C (3:16 p.m.): Just saw a grown man (60+) holding himself like a 6 y/o boy trying not to pee himself. Typical AU fan.
Bart (3:18 p.m.): At zoo, awesome three-year-old with looong mullet and Auburn parents.
Eric St. Clair (3:37 p.m.): It's about time one of these damn teams lose.

Maguire (3:40 p.m.): Right now, Chizik, Cam & Co. are obnoxious.
Chad C (3:48 p.m.): Feels like something's missing. Tradition, nostalgia, championships? Can't really put my finger on it. Even the flyover was lackluster.

Dad (4:04 p.m.): First Tebow reference.
Rob (4:24 p.m.): Ted Roof is a wuss if I had cam on the other side I would blitz every down.

Jamie (4:57 p.m.): That's the 5th QB casualty of the year.
Pedro (4:59 p.m.): Les Miles likes to have 2 QBs — that way, if one does well, he can yank them. He's as impatient with effect QBs as Spurrier is with ineffective ones.

Dad (5:12 p.m.): 'Bama will be a 14-point underdog to both of these.

Jamie (5:16 p.m.): There was 9 seconds left. That play took 10. Still 1 remaining. Thanks home field.

Chad C (5:32 p.m.): Talk about a Debbie downer, lady behind us is spreading news of someone committing suicide. Prob a 'Bama fan couldn't suffer through another Cam for Heism ...
Jamie (5:47 p.m.): Strike the pose.

Jamie (6:03 p.m.): I guess fumble number 18 will be the limit.

Jamie (6:33 p.m.): This whole season at this point rests on the shoulders of Mario Fannin.

Jamie (6:48 p.m.): My God Nick Fairley is good.

Whit (6:54 p.m.): Did you know that everyone is out to get Auburn and hates Auburn?

Maguire (7:01 p.m.): Time to beat the Hillbillies. Tide, get ready to roll!
Whit (7:37 p.m.): All this orange makes me nauseous.

Jamie (8:02 p.m.): I'm getting to the point where I do believe no one can stop 2.

Maguire (8:12 p.m.): Stupid convenience-store robbing thugs.
Dad (8:50 p.m.): Right now I'll take TN straight up.

Halcombe (8:57 p.m.): Does Iowa State get an automatic FCS bye for beating Texas? If so, my bracket has them playing the winner of the Furman/Montana St. game.
Halcombe (9:00 p.m.): If I sign up for NBA League Pass during the "Early bird special" period, can I TiVo out gratuitous KG scowls during the OKC-ATL game?
Halcombe (9:05 p.m.): Isn't Holly Rowe the host of "The Biggest Loser" and the "fat girl" from "Days of Our Lives?"

Halcombe (9:06 p.m.): How many halftime F-bombs from Saban created that scoring drive?
Halcombe (9:12 p.m.): Wonder if any 'Bama conspiracy theorist is questioning how the lead official looks an awful lot like a "tanner" Fulmer?

Halcombe (9:14 p.m.): By his stats, I guess we could say Cam Newton is some Trent Dilfer/Frank Gore hybrid.

Halcombe (9:24 p.m.): Apparently Dooley doesn't spend much time at practice teaching his team to play second half football?
Pedro (9:28 p.m.): Go to 2 hr. 23 min on your DVR for a shot of Shaggy's response to Richardson's TD. No shots of Scooby or Daphne.
(Note: Thanks to RBR, we can cite this reference, as well.)

Dad (9:35 p.m.): O e o

Halcombe (9:46 p.m.): What dousche is holding up a Vandy jersey in the 'Bama fan section? Loser. Why aren't you at the USC game? A game Vandy could ACTUALLY win? Loser.
Stacey (9:50 p.m.): I can't shoot over this guy's fat head.

Jamie (9:54 p.m.): Backup QB = time to head for the cooler.
Pedro (10:01 p.m.): Did you see why they called that timeout? Can they not find a DB who will line up on the same side of the field as Julio?

Halcombe (10:12 p.m.): Just watched Renteria swing at a pitch low and way away. For a moment I was taken back to '06.
Halcombe (10:17 p.m.): Heard rumor that if Giants win Fox has already okayed a trade that would send the World Series to G4 for 14 old episodes of Arrested Development.
Halcombe (10:20 p.m.): Raul Ibanez bears an uncanny resemblance to the mummy in the film of the same name.

Jamie (10:17 p.m.): As much as I dislike Saban I thought his take on the off-week issue was pretty top notch.

Dad (10:20 p.m.): Cigar?
Pedro (10:23 p.m.): A fitting way to close it out. Rammer Jammer indeed.
Maguire (10:23 p.m.): 7-1. Roll Tide Roll.

Dad (11:18 p.m.): Aub may be No. 1 in polls.
Maguire (11:45 p.m.): Mizzou!

Maguire (11:47 p.m.): I'm glad we don't rush the field.
Travis P (11:48 p.m.): Zoo downs the Sooners!
Maguire (12:40 a.m.): Whooped 'em again.

Travis P (1:28 a.m.): I've been (to Neyland) 3 times with 3 awesome wins. I wanna go back every time!