Anyway, to the texting. As always, these are real text messages with real time stamps, and each name on the message is the name as it is appears in my contact list. You've been warned.
Kendra (7:54 am.): I wonder what the J in Rocket J. Squirrel stands for. (Note: this isn't football-related, but was hysterically funny.)
Pedro (8:36 a.m.): What rhymes with uppity? (Note: I have no idea to what this is related.)
Pedro (9:20 a.m.): I thought "the Iron Skillet" was what you won at all you can eat throwdown every day at 2 at the exit 102 PETRO Station.
Pedro (10:10 a.m.): You know who else refers to himself in the 3rd person? Elmo.
Chad C. (11:18 a.m.): Actually, I believe he (Mallett) referred to his legacy in the third person. I wonder if he realizes his whiteness?
Halcombe (11:06 a.m.): Every one of the 40 or so GT idiots wearing the Ronald McDonald wigs and white paint on their chest should be required to lick gym socks 4 their stupidity.
Pedro (11:09 a.m.): The Tech whiteout should stay, if only so we can see the parade of geeks in white jeans dancing to the Bud song. That says it all.
(On Tennessee, where the locker room is named for Peyton Manning)
Halcombe (11:23 a.m.): I'd say that there'd have to be a space somewhere for the DSOL logo and J. Timberlake's "Rock Your Body" video playing on a Sony Bravia 3D TV.
Maguire (11:24 a.m.): I wonder if it's now standard practice to moon the trainers.
Chad C. (11:24 a.m.): I heard they were changing it to the "Kiss My A-- Kiffen locker room" I like that one.
Chad C. (12:18 p.m.): I'm waiting on the NCAA to put helmets on the umpires ... or would that be the DOT???
Maguire (12:23 p.m.): They lowdown ... they some snitches.
Jamie (12:45 p.m.): Was just sitting here thinking, a turnover would not be good for the blazers.
Pedro (1:15 p.m.): What exactly goes through a woman's head when naming her son "Mustafa?"
Dad (2:19 p.m.): UAB!
Travis P (2:20 p.m.): YEA YEAH
Dad (2:32 p.m.): The traditional hog walk??
Maguire (2:32 p.m.): I thought (the red-out) was green.
Whit (2:37 p.m.): Verne Lundquist looking old as (expletive).
Chad C. (2:50 p.m.): Swinging at what??? Nobody knows.
Dad (2:51 p.m.): Really ready.
Whit (2:52 p.m.): Already watching UAB in OT.
Pedro (2:58 p.m.): Julia cheered that false start (note: "Julia" refers to Peter's daughter, who's a year-and-a-half old and will one day rule the universe).
Maguire (3:11 p.m.): (Our new kicker's tackling prowess) A welcome change from Leigh Tiffin's sissified behavior on KOC.
(On what Dre Kirkpatrick does well)
Chad C. (3:18 p.m.): Grow dreadlocks???
Whit (3:18 p.m.): Right now he's the new Kelf Bailey.
Dad (3:18 p.m.): Get us beat.
Maguire (3:18 p.m.): He stands up straight and doesn't tackle. Oh wait ...
Chad C. (3:19 p.m.): When is someone going to HIT Mallett?
Maguire (3:33 p.m.): I guess they're not going to stop play to review our spot the way they did theirs.
Pedro (3:42 p.m.): If we don't get pressure, we'll have to depend on Mallett doing that to win.
Travis P (3:42 p.m.): With Lester non helping. I would repeat that all day.
Chad C. (3:44 p.m.): I'm just excited 'Bama decided to make a defensive play.
Dad (3:44 p.m.): Already muted TV.
Maguire (3:52 p.m.): Agh. Tried to force it.
Dad (3:53 p.m.): 3 runs would have scored.
Chad C. (3:53 p.m.): No, Jesus would've seen Maze wide MF'n open.
Maguire (4:00 p.m.): DAMMIT! Floated it and never saw Crim.
Chad C. (4:00 p.m.): Jesus would've floated that one over his outside shoulder too.
Pedro (4:00 p.m.): Today's Tuscaloosa News had an article about McElroy having been introduced to so many famous people. McElroy's gotta stop showing how introduces foot to bullets.
Chad C. (4:02 p.m.): Somebody needs to see if Dre has a ticket to this game. He's watched this (expletive) all day.
Maguire (4:03 p.m.): Get 21 out of the game.
Dad (4:08 p.m.): Mistakes will kill.
Jamie (4:14 p.m.): Worst OCs are the ones who outsmart themselves.
Maguire (4:37 p.m.): RUN THE BALL.
Maguire (4:43 p.m.): Freaking Swiss cheese.
Dad (4:44 p.m.): I'm begging for a turnover.
Jamie (4:44 p.m.): 10 points. As someone who sat through last week's AU game, don't bring that (expletive) to me.
Maguire (4:48 p.m.): We look immature and very sloppy on D. Way too many mental mistakes.
Maguire (4:49 p.m.): Helluva slider he kicked there.
(On who we have left on the schedule we can beat.)
Chad C. (4:51 p.m.): Judging by today?? No one.
Pedro (4:51 p.m.): Amanda votes Ga. State. I vote UT and Ole Miss.
Dad (4:53 p.m.): Sad but without G-Mac mistakes we are ahead.
Dad (5:01 p.m.): Offense physically tougher than defense.
Maguire (5:15 p.m.): Mallett is apparently a whining sissy, too.
Maguire (5:27 p.m.): We need to complete this drive and make one more just like it.
Jamie (5:32 p.m.): Everybody at the tailgate is asking: why not run every fn down?
Jamie (5:37 p.m.): Darius is ... large.
Dad (5:38 p.m.): May not get the ball back.
Maguire (5:40 p.m.): Gut check.
Jamie (5:40 p.m.): Game set match.
Maguire (5:41 p.m.): LESTER!!!
Pedro (5:42 p.m.): 22 and 3 in Wildcat. Try and stop us.
Dad (5:42 p.m.): Too soon.
Chad C. (5:44 p.m.): Starting to hate the institution of marriage. Not mine, just the part where people have weddings during the 4th quarter.
Pedro (5:44 p.m.): Somebody should tell Dareus his agent says not to get hurt. We need 11 healthy bodies out there.
Dad (5:46 p.m.): May lose yet but we got guts.
Pedro (5:53 p.m.): I'm just glad our daughter was in the other room on Lowery's "pass interference." She would've been, um, scared.
Jamie (5:50 p.m.): Good throw Heisman.
Dad (5:50 p.m.): Ha!
Pedro (5:50 p.m.): Dre found a use for himself.
Maguire (5:51 p.m.): I take back everything I said about 21 today.
Dad (5:52 p.m.): Believe that was our boy.
Chad C. (5:53 p.m.): Somebody must have told him his team was playing.
Maguire (5:59 p.m.): Man up. Yes sir!
Dad (5:59 p.m.): Punt please.
Chad C. (6:01 p.m.): Love it!!!
Maguire (6:01 p.m.): 4-0. Roll Tide.
Jamie (6:44 p.m.): Gene is still zipped.
Jamie (6:46 p.m.): Surprisingly very loud tonight. Thought there would be a fan hangover.
Pedro (6:55 p.m.): You know you married the right girl when an early season conference game is on and she says "oh, he's lost wieght" after the first shot of the head referee.
Dad (7:11 p.m.): Thank God Spurrier doesn't have Mallett as his QB.
Pedro (7:11 p.m.): I'm worried that "magic blue carpet may be some newfangled slang. But what for ...
Jamie (7:25 p.m.): Rooting for a team that MUST match score for score is really disheartening.
Dad (8:58 p.m.): Georgia must be just awful.
Pedro (9:10 p.m.): To hell, to hell to hell with Georgia the cesspool of the South.
(On who UGA will target in its next coaching search)
Maguire (9:12 p.m.): I've heard Muschamp is the latest rumor. But he's a (expletive).
Dad (9:12 p.m.): Kirby.
Pedro (9:15 p.m.): They've got the Jimmy Buffett version of Miles now, per my wife. I'm guessing they go after Muschamp, then Kirby Smart.
Maguire (9:29 p.m.): Leinenkugel?
Dad (9:33 p.m.): This kinda looks like a WAC game.
Jamie (10:12 p.m.): This one feels good coming off last week. Thought Gus had his A game.
Zach (8:40 a.m., Sunday): I'll take it for sure.
Dad (10:34 p.m., Sunday): Punt.