And so it is with some satisfaction that I introduce this week's edition of Thursday lines. This week's lines come from all over the place, including sportsbook, ncaaflines.com and centsports.com.
Southern Miss (+14) at South Carolina
(Note: 14 seems like a lot given South Carolina's recent tendency to slop around and make everybody regret wishing for football to come back in Week 1 every year. Still, if they're serious about challenging for the division, maybe they make something happen here.)
Marshall (+28) at Ohio State
Fla. Atlantic (+14) at UAB
Pittsburgh (+3) at Utah
USC (-21.5) at Hawaii
Arizona (-15.5) at Toledo
(Note: If you bet college football at all — and really, you shouldn't — stay away from this game. I'm telling you. Arizona could win by 30 or lose by 30. Stay away.)
Miami-Ohio (+36) at Florida
Illinois (+11.5) at Missouri
Colorado (-12) at Colorado St.
(Note: Ditto this game. CU completely quit on Dan Hawkins last season in Boulder in this game, setting the stage for a season that should've gotten him spectacularly fired, only the school couldn't afford his buyout. So will he, to localize things, pull a Tuberville and chase away the wolves? Who knows? Don't bet this game, please.)
Texas (-30.5) at Rice
Purdue (+11) at Notre Dame
UConn (+3) at Michigan
Kentucky (-3) at Louisville
UCLA (+1.5) at Kansas State
(Note: Does anybody want to make a "too bad this isn't the 1998 Fiesta Bowl" joke here? Just me? OK.)
Syracuse (-9) at Akron
Washington St. (+16) at Oklahoma St.
Washington (+3) at BYU
San Jose St. (+37.5) at Alabama
Arkansas St. (+31) at Auburn
Bowling Green (+14) at Troy
Memphis (+21.5) at Mississippi St.
(Note: Who would trust Mississippi St. to beat anybody by 21.5? Really?)
Utah St. (+33.5) at Oklahoma
Northwestern (-4.5) at Vanderbilt
Oregon St. (+13.5) vs. TCU (in Dallas)
(Note: If you still want to go to this game, apparently tickets are still available.)
North Carolina (+5) vs. LSU (in Atlanta)
Cincinnati (+2.5) at Fresno St.
Wisconsin (-20.5) at UNLV
Tulsa (-8) at East Carolina
SMU (+13.5) at Texas Tech
(Note: Wingnut! Click clack! I'm happy to have him back in my life, really.)
Maryland (+6) vs. Navy (Baltimore)
Boise St. (-2) vs. Va. Tech (Washington)
That's a pretty full weekend, folks. See y'all later today with a column. Roll Tide.